In a previous post I mentioned the discussion of the whether or not one should connect via Zoom from before Chag in order to be in touch with those who are alone for Seder. I was asked to specify what cases I meant, but I would prefer not to do that on social media, as I am worried about being misconstrued. I have answered dozens of people on a personal basis, and am happy to continue doing so. If you have an actual case – feel free to contact me and I will help to the best of my abilities.

What I do feel comfortable writing – and, in fact, feel an obligation to write – is cases where I think picking up the phone and calling someone is allowed. However, this post will not be understood without three pieces of introduction:

(1) To be clear: everyone knows that when a situation is life threatening, neither Shabbat nor Chag stand in the way of caring for that person’s health. With mental health it’s always a bit trickier: “Does he really need it?”. Luckily, the Halacha tells us that if there is a doubt – there is no doubt. Safek Pikuach Nefesh, is as Pikuach Nefesh itself. So if there is a chance of a life-threatening situation, it is treated as life-threatening.

(2) Mental issues are, quite literally, in one’s head. And part of helping a person who is living “in his head” and is suffering greatly from his internal experience is to get him out of there. Sometimes that means taking a walk. Sometimes it means listening to music. Sometimes it means writing in a diary. And sometimes it could mean talking to someone else.

(3) Even an individual Shabbat or Chag could be a challenge for someone suffering in this way. Certainly if they are alone. Certainly if they have been isolated for a while. And certainly if it’s 3 days running (as it is outside of Israel this year).

Taking all that into account, and after discussing with therapists, I would like to state the following very clearly, for this upcoming 3-day Yomtov:

(a) If you have an urge to get up and commit a suicidal act – call someone. Don’t hesitate for a second. Call someone. Right away.

(b) If you have a history of suicidal attempts, and have even the glimmerings of active suicidal ideation – call someone. Right away.

(c) If your specific mental condition is such where the statistics for completed suicide are over 5 percent, and you are experiencing even the glimmerings of active suicidal ideation – call someone. Don’t hesitate.

(d) If you have a history of psychosis, and feel yourself deteriorating in that direction again – call someone. You must do so. Don’t hesitate.

(e) If you have a history of self-harm, and you feel yourself deteriorating in that direction again – call someone.

(f) If you are suffering from depression, are feeling hopeless about the future, or experiencing feelings of worthlessness, and have had these feelings for a while, and Shabbat or Chag is exacerbating this – call someone, right away.

“ON CHAG??? ON SHABBAT???????”.

Yes. And if you don’t know anyone who will take your call, I will gladly give you my number. I will answer you day or night. And we’ll talk as long as you need.

Just call.

Comments are closed.