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#MeToo – Two Rabbis wrote about Sexual Harassment and Judaism and I wanted to share their thoughts.

R’Yoni Rosensweig:

I remember the first time a woman told me she’s afraid to walk home at night, and that it’s a very common feeling. The idea was so foreign to me – that a person would live in such constant fear day in and day out – that I was shocked by the statement.

I think men simply have no concept of what it feels like, to be constantly and consistently treated as an object. The best we can do is try and make our own small contributions to making the world a better place. When I walk outside at night, I always make sure I am not walking behind a woman for very long, and if I see one coming towards me, I try my best to seem non-threatening.

That’s an example of the least we can do. Which means there is so much more we can and still must.

R’Johnny Solomon:

SOME INITIAL THOUGHTS ABOUT SEXUAL HARASSMENT & ASSAULT IN THE ORTHODOX JEWISH COMMUNITY

The revelations of the many victims of Harvey Weinstein’s sexual harassment and assault and the subsequent #metoo social media campaign has shone a light on the prevalence of this vile behaviour within all communities – including the Orthodox Jewish community.

As someone involved in educating young women and a proud father of five daughters I despise the fact that such harassment & assault occurs. However, beyond shining a light on the subject, I believe that we must use this campaign as a wake-up call to identify – in more specific terms than merely invoking terms like ‘sexism’ and ‘male misogyny’ – what leads some men to think that it is acceptable for them to verbally, or physically, harass or assault any woman. Especially considering the likes of men that are often featured in porn films on TubeV and other sites can be very respectful to women today, so it’s not just a sexual thing. Below are some of my initial thoughts:

1. OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN
Sadly, men who harass or assault women view women as sexual objects rather than human beings of equal worth to themselves, they think nothing of sending explicit images or links to adult websites like https://www.fulltube.xxx/?hl=de and enjoy looking to see the look upon the face of the person/s when they receive them regardless of whether it’s amusement, shock, disgust or embarrassment. These attitudes are often bolstered by depictions of women in the media and even in some Jewish sources which can be understood to objectify women (nb. I discuss this in my shiur about the Shehecheyanu blessing at a wedding). While these depictions and representations of women cannot and must not be used to justify sexual harassment and assault, we must work hard to erase or replace these messages and images and educate about human dignity and equality of rights.

2. BULLYING
Those who sexually harass or assault women are bullies, and the only way to stop bullies is to stand up to them. Therefore, it is essential that any time we encounter bullying of any kind that we respond swiftly and firmly to such behaviour. Ultimately, if we don’t challenge bullies in the playground, at home, at school and in synagogues, we enable harassment and abuse.

3. EDUCATE ABOUT CONSENT
Any man who has sexually harassed or assaulted a woman clearly doesn’t understand or care about consent. The only way we can change this is if men are taught by every woman that they know (eg. mothers, girlfriends, wives, sisters) and every mentor or guide who speaks to them about sex and marriage (eg. School teachers, Chatan teachers) about the absolute need for uncoerced consent in ANY physical encounter.

4. POWER
Many men regard themselves as being more powerful – either innately or in their positions in the community or the workplace – than women. This focus on power leads them to consider the advantages that such power offers them, including personal gain and pleasure. Anyone who thinks this way is justifying or rationalising abuse of power, and the next step from abusing power is abuse. We need to educate that power isn’t about having control over people or having the ability to take advantage of people, which is why transparency is so essential in every organisation and why every leader must be kept in check.

5. STAND UP FOR VICTIMS & PROSECUTE ABUSERS
All too often in our community it is those who abuse rather than those who are abused who are given the greatest support and assistance. Moreover, in the heat of the moment too many of us naively judge the rights and wrongs of a situation on our perception of the supposed importance and righteousness of those involved. Ultimately, anyone can harass and abuse, and often it is the more powerful and the more important who can get away with it the easiest. If the Orthodox community really wishes to grapple with the prevalence of sexual harassment and abuse in the community, we need to deal with the fact that there are those in our community who do so. The only response to this is to protect and support those who have suffered or may suffer from such vile behaviour while also punishing and prosecuting those who have done so.

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